That doesn't mean I'm doing postures on a moon day, it means all the posturing I'm doing is in my head.
I have a friend in town now and we ate a bit late last night and because of that I believe I had a hard time sleeping last night. The energy was just a boiling around and jerking me awake every so often, then I'd feel like I couldn't get back to sleep quickly enough and so would lie there awaiting it to happen, then boom, again. Finally at 6:05am I got up, took a shower then came in to do pranayama and my chanting, ate some mueslix and here I sit, now feeling tired again. Oh life...
I've been reading a lot lately in a book I fully read last summer, Kali Kaula. Just "randomly" opening it to a page and seeing what it has to say to me. Most of them have been very thought provoking and full of things that are very pertinent to my mindset or life situation that day. So then I've been having a lot to write in my journal, or write another blog or Facebook post that is coming from somewhere deep inside.
The biggest theme has been heart. Bringing heart to everything, even bringing the deity, or version of a deity, that you feel connected to into your heart space and seeing where that leads you throughout your day. It's been a very interesting way to approach things. And these passages are ones I'm remembering from reading the full book a year ago. But you know how sometimes you don't even see something until you're ready for the message of it? That is always the case with my life.
I'm really good at seeing whole things and paying attention to every going on around me, so when I see that I completely miss something it throws me off a bit. But we all are like this for sure.
What we're feeling and living is reflected back to us in the actions and behaviours of those around us, even in their personalities. So why wouldn't it be that we see only what our minds are ready to see? Of course this is so.
So heart. I'm feeling fully that this trip to Germany has been all about bringing me back into living from my heart.
I was giving India the credit for making me feel so open and loving and able to live there, but it's not the case. I had learned the ability to live there and be open and loving and then India manifested in my existence, not the other way around. I just got sloppy and allowed myself to let India take the credit. But I've earned the right to discover India in many ways I believe, and not just physically, but inside as well. And so I am.
I'm finding it even here, in the very organized country that seems the opposite of India, I am starting to see the same qualities that I love there so much and I'm inviting in more and more and processing it and seeing the good in it more and more and then more comes and then more feelings grow and more and more and more...lol.
So, I'm in a good place and teaching from this good place and feeling great about the sharing this practice I love so much. Finally after feeling a bit bad when I left India I've realised its there in me all the time, I just have to allow it to come out, or rather allow my perspective to shift so that I see it in everything. And its not about India, you get that right? It's just a word I use for my heart and seeing and feeling heart in everything and everywhere I go...